Motherhood

Motherhood Changes Everything

Who reading this thinks that is an understatement?  Me for sure!  We all know it changes the meaning of unconditional love, it changes how we sleep, how we feel, our priorities, our sex life, our relationship with our partner. Have you realized how much it changes your relationship with your own mother? Or if your mother has died, it changes how you viewed that relationship while she was living. 

Nine times out of ten becoming a mother ourselves causes us to examine our relationship with our mother. Or something happens that makes us dig deeper into that relationship. I wish I could say that this is a positive thing all the time but often it is not.  Every mother, no matter the age, would likely say “I was not perfect, there are certainly things I did wrong.”  Maybe you feel that way with a newborn, or a toddler. I know I for sure feel that with my three kids(21,19 & 17).  One thing I personally found helpful was to admit that to them. Admit that you did not handle everything perfectly, admit you were not the perfect parent.

So all of this to say, even to my clients with brand new babies- do not expect to do everything “just right.” Expect those mistakes, expect to look back maybe just even to yesterday and think, “I did not handle that right.” I remind you not to park yourself in that state but when you begin to say to yourself “I wish I had done this…”, reframe to “next time I will do this…”  And forgive yourself for those times. What a beautiful thing to teach your children that they will then remember about you as their mother.