“I say Love”
Love is a Many Splendored Thing” or is it? February- the month of Valentine’s Day. In my home that does not mean much. To quote my husband of 24 years, “I don’t need a special day a year to tell you how much I love you.” Sweet right? I did not always think that but once I did a deep dive he is right. We have been together since high school, to coin the phrase “high school sweethearts.” So we basically have grown up together. Married and three children within four years, some rough days for sure. Job changes, deaths in the family, parenting toddlers, parenting 3 teenagers, the list goes on and on. Two are now away at college with one high schooler left at home. Relationships certainly have their ups and downs. Especially when you become parents for the first time. People always said to us, “enjoy this time together because once you have kids it sure changes.” Of course you know that right? But you are not usually able to fully grasp how much until you are in the throes of it!
Yet another change can be hard. There is less quality time for each other, less time in general for each other. Balance of parenting, working, household responsibilities is exhausting. But one thing that can not be sacrificed is communication. Women in general often think we should not have to ask for help. We think it should be “known.” I am guilty of thinking my husband should be able to read my mind. They can’t ladies! When we assume they can and they don’t that leads to frustration on both sides, which leads to anger, which leads to arguments etc…Whatever you do don’t sacrifice communication. Clear, concise communication- right to the point, “I would love it if you can help me with this______.” Be specific, no room for ambiguity.
Along those same lines, say Thank you. Should you have to? Maybe not but acknowledgement goes a long way. You would agree the samebfor yourself. The most important thing I can say is remember that both of you are learning and adjusting at the same time. Give each other and yourself grace. Remember to say I Love you.
