Healthy Boundaries=Healthy Mind
If you look up the definition of boundary it will say something like this: a line that marks the limits of an area. But boundaries in relationships help you define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others.This definition alone acknowledges the importance of setting healthy boundaries in our relationships. However, the definition does not make it any easier.
Setting boundaries can be intimidating: we are not used to doing it, we are fearful of doing it(not always rational fear), we feel guilty or maybe we do not even know what boundaries we need to set. But we have to make sure we are doing everything we can to ensure a healthy mind.
Boundaries are actually a form of self care- a protective factor, if you will. They can protect us from harm but also help us manage our time, energy and how we feel. Clear communication is one way to ensure boundaries are set. Remember this is a request not a demand, therefore be specific and confident but also watchful of tone of voice. A word of caution; as difficult as this can be to do in person, it is highly recommended. We all have “keyboard courage” when it comes to emails or texts but the implied tone can be misread.
The perinatal period is an important time to begin to establish boundaries. The number of times when I was pregnant that people, even strangers, would touch my pregnant belly was astounding. Speaking up and saying, “that makes me uncomfortable, I kindly ask you to not do that again” is one way to hopefully put an end to that. Establishing boundaries for visitors while in labor and delivery, who can visit in the hospital, who can visit at home etc are all examples. The pandemic has made some of those boundaries “set for us” but those times are fading away and so speaking on our own behalf will need to resume.
On the flip side, I also ask you to be aware of respecting other people's boundaries. Once we are aware of how we feel about our own, it helps us become aware and more respectful of boundaries set by other people.
I am confident you can do this!
