First Mothers Day Without

Mothers Day 2024- I had all my kids home, even the college kiddos. I had just watched my youngest graduate high school Friday night and my oldest graduate college Saturday afternoon- both momentous occasions. BUT something was minimizing those celebrations for me. You see, Mothers Day, 2024, was my first Mothers Day without my own mom. She died 6 weeks ago. It was an unanticipated death, it all took place over a 28 hour time span. It was not sudden that we did not get to say goodbye but 28 hours is a short time to wrap your head around losing someone like your mother.

One of the questions I ask every client at an intake session is “how has your relationship changed with your mom(good or bad) since you became a mom?”  Some people are unsure why I ask that question- others are like “Wow, yeah I see things so differently.”  I was extremely lucky and I will own that, my mom was THE BEST. She was “my everyday.” We talked everyday and texted on and off most of the day. She knew the ins and outs of our lives. She cared about the minutiae like no one else did. I don’t feel that I took it for granted often; I know I did at times.

I encourage each one of you to step back and evaluate where you stand in regards to your relationship with your mom. For those of you who have lost your mom, I am sorry. I did not give it the necessary gravity before it happened to me, I am a bit ashamed to admit that. Now if your relationship with your mom is unsafe in any way(physically, emotionally, mentally) that is a different story. But if not, I do encourage you to step back and examine what you have. Tell her how you feel. Maybe enact a change to spend more time together, talk more, let her be more involved. Think about the relationship you desire to have with your own children when they are a bit older. Have that be the bar you set with your own mom.