I Have Been There

I HAVE BEEN THERE

Health and mental health have been my passion throughout my whole social work career. That was my area of focus in my graduate work: first with the adult HIV positive community and then with pediatric medical social work. I quickly fell in love with working with families in the NICU(Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).  Even though I loved this work, I never dreamed I would become a family in the NICU one day.

In my last blog post, called “Grow Through What You Go Through” I mentioned that I had experienced my own high risk pregnancy, birth trauma, postpartum PTSD and also a NICU stay. That is what has led me to working with this population of folks. It was not until I began this work that I realized what trauma I had experienced and how it was negatively impacting me. This is why I am so passionate about women asking for the help they need and having people out there that understand it and be able to provide that help. 

My third pregnancy(unplanned-50% of all pregnancies are unplanned) was high risk due to congenital fetal anomalies.  Near the end of the pregnancy, a complete placenta previa was identified. I was being seen for ultrasounds every two weeks. We knew we would have a NICU stay as our baby girl had medical needs. At 34 weeks my placenta abrupted and I was hemorrhaging at home. My daughter was delivered via emergency C-section(general anesthesia) at 34 weeks gestation. I suffered a postpartum hemorrhage in the recovery room and went back to the OR for a hysterectomy. I was critically ill and in ICU on a ventilator while my daughter was hospitalized in a NICU on a ventilator. She had a 31 day NICU stay. 

Being at home in our bedroom was difficult for me. If I heard sirens in the middle of the night, I panicked(I went to the hospital that night via ambulance). We had to rearrange our bedroom and buy new furniture as I was unable to be in that room due to the memories, nightmares and  flashbacks. These are things I never sought help for until much later. This was sixteen years ago and things such as birth trauma and postpartum PTSD were not really discussed.  I feel so passionate to raise awareness and educate every one I encounter but most importantly, I do this work so no one feels as alone as I did.