How Do I Know when I am “OK?”
Deciding to end therapy can be a really hard decision. Likely when you initiated services you were told this would be a commitment both of time and money. Goals were set and measured throughout, maybe even new goals made. Therapy should always be a collaboration. Sure, the therapist has professional training but this should always be a two way communication. There is a misconception that finishing with therapy means you are “healed.” As anyone can tell you, there will still be bad days and even some regression. The key is being able to handle those moments.
The first way is a level of self awareness that “hey I don’t think I am feeling/doing as well as I was.” And the realization no longer sends you spiraling down a bad path. This then would bring to the forefront of your mind the things you learned on how to handle these challenges. This is not to say that a return to therapy is never warranted because it is at times. That does not mean you have failed, think of it as a little “tune up.” Some therapists(myself included) will respond to an email or message inquiring about if it would be a good idea to restart services.
If you feel that relationships are improving and you have found a way to integrate self care into your routine that also may be the time to evaluate whether you can step away.
Sometimes the time and financial commitment becomes too much. Again, this is a collaboration but if you feel you can not do it at this time, you have the right to stop.
I am often asked how long will therapy “take?” There is not a uniform answer since everyone comes with different issues and with different histories. Oftentimes as you move forward, new things to discuss/work through present themselves.
When I notice the positive things mentioned above taking place, I will initiate the idea with “now I am not breaking up with you”(stolen from a client who told me that is what it felt like), but let’s examine the progress. We may compromise and say “let’s meet one more time or let me get through (insert big event here)”. The big thing to remember is collaboration. Collaboration is key!
